Reflection

Two years ago today we found out that Tim's cancer had spread to his lungs. We went into that appointment thinking that perhaps it was back in a lymph node or maybe there was the remote chance that it had spread to his liver but nothing could've prepared us for the shock to come. That day ended up being the biggest turning point of my life.

When Tim was initially diagnosed in January of that year I knew it would be a tough road ahead for a few months, maybe a year or two but then we could put all of this behind us as a bump in the road. I thought that years from now we'd look at this as some terrible nightmare and chalk it up as a life lesson. Now I know so much more as Tim will be on chemo for the rest of his life or until they find a cure for cancer (which they are getting closer and closer to each day).

We've learned how to interweave chemo into our routine  and how to prevent it from being a hinderance from living our lives. We've learned that some days we just have to stop, let everything continue around us and take it all in, feel sorry for ourselves and just be. We've also learned that we can't live life with this constantly in our heads and feeling sorry for ourselves, we have to pull ourselves back up and keep pushing forward just as hard the next day.

I've learned lots of humility and patience (although I still have a ways to go with that one) as well as that sometimes I can't be in control of every little detail (my OCD is constantly fighting that lesson though). I've learned to let go of the little things because in the grand scheme they really don't matter and that the little drama of what others may think or how my actions may be perceived are insignificant. What really matters is how I make others feel.

Tim & I have learned to give and take in our relationship. We've learned so much about each other, what makes the other tick (and the best way to get under each other's skin) as well as how to support one another through the worst circumstances life has to offer. He's learned that sometimes he has to take my opinion into consideration and I've learned that sometimes I have to let him make his own decision, completely independent of what I think, even when every bone in my body screams against it.

We've learned what a tremendous gift it is to have a network of support and how it really can make a difference to your soul to know that there are so many out there praying for success. We've learned of the generosity of our community and the kindness of strangers, people are inherently good in this world. We've learned just how much our friends and family truly mean to us and what a pivotal role they play in our lives, especially in the darkest of days. We've also learned how much it means when someone reaches out to let you know they are thinking of you just as you've reached the end of your rope.

Two years ago today, when we found out Tim's cancer had spread he asked what it meant in terms of how much time he had left. The answer was that statistically, two years was the length of time. I know Thanksgiving was a week ago but today I'm thankful that statistics are just numbers. I couldn't be more thankful that Tim is here and he is thriving. Don't get me wrong, I still worry about what could be every single day but I know he is surrounded by an amazing medical team and a tremendous network of friends, family and even strangers that give him the ability to keep fighting day in and day out. For that I am so very thankful.

Round 2

I am halfway through my second round of Vectibix.  We took some precautions before I started this cycle to try to limit the severity of the rash on my face. Not only does it look bad but it feels like I have a severe sunburn.  So far the rash hasn't been too terrible. The real test for this will come next weekend when Steven and I go to Chicago for the Bears game.  The last time that I went up there the wind was so bad that it really dried my skin out and made the rash much worse than it normally is.  Steven has told me that we might be going to the Bulls game on Saturday night as well.  I had a great time the last time that I got to go up there and looking forward to it again.

I have also decided to make a career change.  After four and a half great years with Lee & Associates I have decided to make a change to go and work with my brother doing financial planning.  I can't say enough nice things about the people at Lee and how great they have been to Jenny and I over the past couple of years.  It was a tough decision for me to leave Lee because they have been like a family to me over the past couple of years, but I am excited to get the chance to work along side my brother and the chance to have benefits such as me being the one carrying the health insurance takes a big load off of Jenny finally. I also will have some disability insurance finally which I hope I never need but I know it has been a big source of stress for Jenny over the years. If anyone missed the original story, I was scheduled to have my physical for my disability and life insurances the day after my colonoscopy. Obviously they found the cancer during that colonoscopy so the insurance wasn't happening.

Other than starting my second cycle of Vectibix and changing careers not much has been going on in Jenny and I's life.  Things have been pretty calm, and I am not complaining about that.  Jenny has been pretty busy at work with PropertyBoss moving into a new building.  There were some issues that has made that situation a bit more hectic than it should have been but they seem to be settling in well and the building looks really good. Saturday we went and hung out with my brother, Haley and the kids and had a pretty good time before I started feeling bad and today I was feeling better so Jenny made me clean the deck with her and tomorrow we get to stain it after work. If anyone wants to take my place, feel free.

The Brightlife / iTOR house is continuing to move forward and should be framed out by the middle of next week.  I will go by there and take a couple of pictures to post on here so everyone can see the progress that has been made.

I hope that everyone has a great week.

Tim