Here We Go

By the time most of you are reading this Tim should be heading back for his procedure this morning. Once they get him under anesthesia the procedure should only take about 30 minutes and will hopefully give us a non-serious reason for his unending cough. As of right now we're both tired, anxious and uncaffinated but one of those three will be remedied for me soon, I'm sure the drugs will remedy all three for Tim. 

I'll probably wait until Tim is lucid enough for the two of us to talk over & process the results, whatever they may be so there may not be a post from us right away. In the meantime if you wouldn't mind sending up a quick little prayer that we do get results today (coming out of a procedure like this with more questions than answers is pretty hard) & that those results end up being something insignificant. Thanks in advance, it really does make a big difference for us!

Quick Update

We have done it again this year.  The golf tournament spots are officially sold out.  I appreciate everyone that has signed up and I am sorry to disappoint those that weren't able to get a spot, we hope you'll consider signing up again next year.  We would love to have those of you that wanted to play but weren't able to get a spot, join us for the dinner and silent auction that night.  It will be a great time with lots of great options up for bid. Even if golf doesn't interest you we hope you can join us for the dinner and silent auction. We still have hole sponsorship spots available for those that want to sponsor a hole.

On the cancer side of things for me, we have a little update.  I will have a small procedure being performed this coming Friday.  Over the past couple of months I have noticed that I am getting out of breath easier than I used to and have also developed a slight cough that won't go away.  We met with a pulmonologist this past Friday and we have decided that I am going to have a bronchoscopy to ensure that there are no nodules that have formed within my airways and are blocking them.  It is an outpatient procedure that lasts about 20 minutes.  My last CT Scan from early February doesn't show anything there but they want to do this procedure just to rule that out.

I know this was a short update but wanted to let everyone know the latest on what is going on.  I hope that everyone has a great week.

Tim

Tim's Scan Results

Today Tim had an appointment for us to learn what the results of his CT Scan from Friday. Typically we know what we're walking into but his CEA doesn't seem to be reliable anymore so we had no idea if we'd be walking into improvements or into something much worse. 

Very unlike myself I actually hadn't thought about this appointment at all. That was until I was on Faris, about to turn onto the hospitals drive and my anxiety hit full speed. I've tried to get myself to prepare for worst case scenario so anything better than that is a win. I've built myself up and been crushed too many times now for that protective mechanism not to kick in so as I drove in, parked and made my way upstairs I prepared to hear that the cancer had spread elsewhere. 

I was running late so I met Tim in the infusion room. The first speed bump of the day was his port not working and needing to have cath flow placed in it which breaks up clots to get everything moving again.

We met with Heather who found that Tim has an ear infection and possibly bronchitis so he's back on antibiotics (again) as well as some prednisone to open him up. Hopefully this will make a huge difference in how he's been feeling as of late. Heather also informed us that there have not been any changes since his last scan. I hate to sound ungrateful bc knowing that his cancer remains stable is a HUGE answered prayer and this stability is one we've been praying about for some time now but now that we're getting it, it is almost a double-edged sword.

Tim's getting tired and isn't able to bounce back like he once could after treatment. He's still incredibly lucky as he is still able to amaze everyone who finds out he has Stage 4 cancer with all of his physical abilities but the sheer number of treatments are adding up physically, emotionally and mentally. We always have to balance the benefits of the chemo against the side effects and most of the time that choice has been made for us as the drug has lost efficacy as side effects have become too much to bear. This time it's different though, we're reaching a point where we have to make the decision to walk away from a treatment we know is working in order for Tim to get a break as well as running the risk of moving to a treatment that is not as successful. If we choose to stay with the treatment we run into the risk that Tim's body becomes intolerant to the drug itself and the side effects become too much for his body to handle. We're meeting with Dr. Edenfield tomorrow and I'm sure after that will feel much more confident in the direction we should take after speaking with him but just thought I'd give everyone a little insight into how good news is not always as straight-forward as it may seem. Irregardless we won't be making any decisions until after Tim finished his meds and we can see how that changes his ability to weather through additional rounds. Hopefully an improvement in his overall health will change our entire outlook.

Also, Tim and Dr. Edenfield will be on Your Carolina on channel 7 at 10AM tomorrow if anyone wants to see that enthusiasm and positivity of Dr. Edenfields we always speak of that keeps us going! We will post a link after the interview if you're not in the area and want to check it out.

As always, thanks to all of you for your unwavering support over the past four years. We've made it a policy between us to always approach this challenge with positivity but as time goes on and it really sets in that this journey is one that doesn't have an end point it becomes a lot harder, especially as we would trade just about anything for the chance to just be married and plan a future for ourselves without cancer being the elephant in the room. We go through our ups and downs (and have since this began) but these most recent challenges have been bigger and much more intense than anything we've faced before and just seem to be coming one after another, throwing us for a loop more than usual. All of you who have given us a little extra leeway with our moods/forgetfulness/lack of time, my parents and friends who have listened to and comforted me as I fall apart, been able to calm me down and help me take a step back or step in for me when I've become too overwhelmed and for all of you that continue to pray for us and check in on us have made so much of a difference these past few weeks. So far 2014 has been a doozy of a year but hopefully we can start to put of the bad behind us & enjoy better things to come.

Update on Everything

First off in the blog I will update everyone on where I stand on the cancer side of things.  I just had a CT Scan on Friday and will get the results on Monday when I meet with Dr. Edenfield.  My CEA rose a bit over the last month and a half so it was good that we already had this scan scheduled to see if there is anything new going on.  I have been on the current regime for over a year and that is something that is great when you are in a position like I am.  I think that Dr E has a few new options for me if we were needing to change things up a bit, so I am not too worried right now.

Jenny and I have been keeping a pretty low profile over the past couple of weeks.  We had fun with some of our neighbors during the snow this past week but other than that we have pretty much just worked and stayed around the house.  For Valentines Day our friends Josh and John came to our house for dinner and to hang out.  It was nice to be able to stay around the house and not have to mess with going out to dinner with the rest of Greenville.

The 2014 Tee It Up For Cancer golf tournament and silent auction is just around the corner.  For all of you procrastinators like I am, the slots for golf are almost gone.  We have already filled up over half of the teams and I expect that the other half that we have remaining will be filled within the next week.  So, if you are planning on playing then I suggest that you hurry up and sign up.  Don't worry if you don't know all 4 players in the group just pay for your team and put TBD for the unknown players and we can figure it out later.  We have some amazing new items for the silent auction this year that I think most of you will enjoy.

To sign up for the golf, dinner, or want to be a hole sponsor just go to https://brightlife.ticketbud.com/2014-tee-it-up to register.

I hope to see everyone in April and I hope that everyone has a great week this week.

Tim

2014 Tee It Up Tournament

It's that time of year again, this year we've actually managed to get ahead of schedule and already have sign-ups available for golfers, sponsors and those that just want to attend the dinner & silent auction portion of the evening.

This year rather than having two sections for golfer sign-ups we've decided to make it easier on ourselves and just have one. You can still sign-up for a team (or multiple teams as some have done in the past) simply by selecting a quantity of 4.

Please also remember that as a golfer you get two entry tickets into the dinner and silent auction portion of the evening so no need to purchase those in addition! We try to make the event fun for the whole family and kids under 5 eat free so bring them along as well.

One question we've had come up was whether or not you had to "be a golfer" to play. We've had golfers who have played their first 18 rounds of golf at the tournament all the way up to pros so skill level is not a qualification for this tournament!

Times for all of the events can be found in the image above and additional details can be found by clicking on the little black circle with the "i" in it next to each ticket option. Once you register individual tickets will be emailed to each participant, all you have to do is print them out and show up for a good time!

We're working on some really incredible experiences for this year and are slowly but surely getting those uploaded here: https://squareup.com/market/brightlife. We're also working to have items for every budget.

Hoping to see you all out there, let us know if you have any questions!

Register Now!

The Fourth Anniversary

Today (Saturday) is the fourth anniversary of Tim's diagnosis. It's actually kind of strange as usually it's on my mind from the first of the year but this year it has kind of snuck up on me in the craziness of life and I likely would've forgotten had the prednisone I'm taking for a sinus infection not been keeping me awake. 

Four years ago today changed the course of our lives for better and for worse. We've learned an incredible amount about ourselves and matured in ways that likely wouldn't have happened without this diagnosis. It showed me just how much of the "gross stuff" I really can handle and is the catalyst for me going to nursing school. Our love for each other is stronger and deeper than some ever get to experience as we have truly learned what it means to live for each other. We eat healthier than we ever have before and other than chocolate for me and red meat for Tim we no longer crave the "bad stuff".

In many ways we're still just the same though. We have some knock-down drag out arguments over the stupidest things (typically it involves Tim snoring and his refusal to roll over or me cover stealing by wrapping myself in a burrito fashion). We still take experiences and each other for granted. We also still get overdramatic about things that are inconsequential in the grand scheme. 

This week nothing went right for me; our garage door broke, I got to work before realizing I left my laptop at home, I got a migraine that just wouldn't quit and found out I have a wicked sinus infection, things I've worked on for school for months fell apart, crazy doesn't even begin to describe what work has been like and I'm already behind on my schoolwork two weeks into the semester. It's been a doozy. As I got out of my car last night after leaving work at 7 and not taking a lunch for the second time this week and our dog started sprinting away, I had a thought about how this was the worst week ever. It took a few seconds for reality to kick in that we've dealt with far worse but it is funny that it happened the night before the anniversary of what was truly one of my two worst weeks ever.

We're pretty positive on here the majority of the time as we try to be every day in real life as well. We both have some incredibly low days and we have fears we deal with on a daily basis that we both struggle to put into words for each other much less within a blog post or to friends and family. We also have a tendency to gloss over some of our darkest moments and experiences, some memories from that first year are still incredibly raw and painful. Overall though we are incredibly lucky as those are all few and far between. 

With how "normal" this part of our lives is to is now (we don't know married life without it) I forget just how unusual our situation is at times. It's still always surprising to me to see the looks of concern people give when they find out that Tim has stage 4 colon cancer followed by their shock that he works full-time and is actually thriving. 

Life has been able to be "normal" for us due to the love and support from all of you. Sometimes helping us to forget what is going on is the best gift we can receive. And you all make that possible for us. We will never be able to thank all of you for everything that you do to help, even when you don't realize you're doing it.

Anniversaries are good things to celebrate even when it is one of heartbreak as it helps to reflect on who helped to mend it. Thank you to all of you who have helped us put those pieces back together time and time again. 

Long Overdue Updates

The last blog that I wrote was back in early December and I was just about to start my round of chemo while taking Z-pack as well.  I thought going into it that it was going to be the roughest round that I have been through in a while but it turned out not to be the case.  While I'm not ready to say that it was the easiest round that I have even been through but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be although Jenny ended up getting a stomach virus that week so we were quarantined to our respective parents' homes.

Christmas for us was fun.  We always hang out with Jenny's family on Christmas Eve.  We have dinner, look at lights, and then stop by my parents house.  On Christmas Day Jenny and I do our own thing at our house in the morning and then head to Jenny's parents to open gifts and then off to her grandmas for just a short while.  We then meet up with my family for lunch and spend the rest of the day over there.  It was a good Christmas this year.  We both got everything that we want and had a great time with all both of our families.

Steven and I made a trip in early January up to Chicago for a Bears game.  Unfortunately, Jay was still hurt and we didn't get to see him play.  We still had a great time up there despite the wild chill at the time of the game was -10.  I can honestly say that it was the coldest that I have ever been in my life.  We went up to the game with 6 other guys from Greenville and had a blast getting to know them and hanging out with them.

For New Years this year we went to Nantucket for dinner and then a champagne toast at midnight.  Jenny and I went with Steven, Haley, Fran, Ryan, and Natalie.  We had reservations at 9:15 but didn't get seated until close to 10:20.  Despite the delay in our reservation we still had a really good time.

My last visit with Dr. Edenfield was in mid December and we talked about the near future and my upcoming schedule around the holidays.  I was supposed to have a round of chemo that started on New Years Eve but Dr. E was nice enough to let me have an extra week off this time.  The extra time was great and made me feel normal again.  This was only the 2nd time that I have had over the one week break that I normally get in the past year.  The other time was when I decided that I hadn't been to the ER in a while and wanted to go back and check on everyone after I sliced my finger open.  One week extra is like a lifetime for me so I took full advantage of it, even though it flew by.  The round of chemo that I just had that ended last Wed was actually one of the easier treatments that I have had.  I think that the extra week helped me have a bit more energy this time.

Jenny and I both got flu shots back in Nov. hoping to avoid that in our house, but shocker we didn't.  Jenny was pretty sick last week due to the flu and finally started to feel better by the weekend although today was pretty rough for her.  We had a quiet weekend to help make sure that she got over it easily.

Back to the chemo side of things.  I am scheduled to stay on the same regime for the near future.  With my CEA counts not being 100% reliable anymore I will probably have another CT Scan sometime in Feb. to make sure that everything is still stable.  If anything should change then we have already discussed the next step which would be a drug in pill form.  Of the drugs that I have had over the past 4 years the pill based have their side effects but none that relay to nausea.

Jenny is back in school and "only" taking two classes while working full time this semester. It should be interesting though considering that she is taking Microbiology and will be working with staph and strep and other viruses in her lab section. She seems to really like her class though so hopefully everything will be smooth. We also have the house on the market and are looking around for our next possibility, hopefully something will happen sooner than later because keeping our house picked up and clean constantly is not an easy task, you don't realize how messy you are until your house is for sale.

Before I end this post, which is one of the longer posts that I have written in a while, I wanted to tell everyone that it is getting close to that time again.  The annual Tee It Up For Cancer / Brightlife golf tournament is just around the corner.  With Jenny starting school again, a couple of folks have been really great and offered to help me put it together for this year.  So, I wanted to thank Ali, Erin, Berkley, Megan, Alan, Steven, and Joe for all of their help so far this year.  We are off to a great start and will have some amazing things at the silent auction this year.  So please put Monday April 21 on your calendar so you can come.

I hope that everyone has a great rest of the week.
Tim